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Being jealous, difficult and complex, but also kind of normal. How do you handle that in a convenient way? And what does it say about you and your relationships?
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How overwhelming envy can be. It can also get very big, too big sometimes. When it takes hold of you, it’s time to stop and think about it. Often it involves all kinds of emotions and really not just envy. Jealousy is activated differently in everyone and it also expresses itself differently.
How do you deal with it?
It may be helpful to realize that your jealousy is a feeling. These include, for example, the fear of losing someone or something, as well as insecurity or not feeling seen and heard.
So valuable to find out: where did this come from? What is underneath that layer of jealousy and why is it really that I feel jealous? Does it have to do with a deeper need that has been there for a while? Which has to do with a previous experience? Jealousy can thus help you figure out what you need.
Expressing jealousy and thus making it less of a big deal
It may help to express your feelings, to your friend, girlfriend or partner. Who will then have the opportunity to understand you and your behavior. At the same time, openness can deepen your relationship and mutual understanding grows. Despite the jealous feelings, your bond remains and you may also manage to let negative emotions be less sharp. Easier said than done, but still worth a try.
Do you recognize these troublesome emotions and are they getting in your way? We are happy to give you advice. Meet our relationship therapists in Amsterdam, Haarlem or Hilversum without obligation. You can make an initial appointment here.
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