Martrees Groffen, relationship therapist Groningen

The couples I speak come because they get stuck in their relationship. More and more often they experience feelings of irritation towards the other, or the feeling of living on an island. Or the feeling of not being able to reach the other person anymore. It then takes effort to still experience the love and connection from the beginning of the relationship, resulting in verbal and sometimes physical quarrels. In a (longer-term) relationship there are always developments and phases, which are sometimes accompanied by a crisis. For example, you try very hard to reach your partner or to clarify yourself. You need the other, but you no longer understand each other. It seems like you always end up in the same circle. As a relationship therapist, I look at these patterns with you and how you can learn to recognize them earlier. We investigate which underlying emotions play a role here and how you can express them. You learn to recognize the moment when you start to feel threatened and take a survival position of attacking and/or defending. We look at how you can be vulnerable again in the relationship by telling that you need the other person and that you want to be there for the other person. Learning to understand how your behavior and that of others can be explained is one of the elements I use in couples therapy.

Background

I started training as a psychiatric nurse. From that discipline I became increasingly curious about the context of the clients. I followed the system training at DenHertog Systemic in Leeuwarden. I have expanded this with the Emotionally Focus Therapy (EFT) and Mentalizing Stimulating Therapy (MBT) courses.