Dorrit Reeskamp, couples therapist Amsterdam Noord

“‘Love is the only engine of survival’ – Leonard Cohen.”

Sometimes love needs a little extra time and attention. The love is there, only the understanding of each other may be temporarily lost in the relationship. It can help to look at the problems from the context. Often the context gives more insight into each other’s thinking and actions, allowing understanding and gentleness to emerge. Discovering what is underneath the storyline, what the disagreement is really about. It is so nice to be able to look at each other again with a gentle eye.

My approach is to encourage couples to continue to explore each other. That doesn’t always come naturally. Where you come from affects the way people love and experience connection. Getting to know each other’s background and beliefs better creates understanding and from there, mildness and compassion for the other. Miscommunications fade, recognition increases, and mutual gentleness once again prevails. Together with my clients, I move toward a breakthrough that makes the relationship worthwhile again.