Finding each other again among crowded schedules

It is what it is and it has been that way for years. It just works, in addition to all those other things like your job, your own business, the kids, getting rid of well-stocked field hockey bags and not to mention, keeping up with your social contacts. You are a team; together you make sure things run as they should. Even if that sometimes feels like juggling at the highest level.

Very imperceptibly, love landed at the bottom of what seemed important at the time. Because it already takes you enough energy to keep up with everything that’s going so fast. Pressure and stress wriggled between you and your partner without really realizing it. Having an eye for each other, intimacy, it was on the back burner.

Getting closer again

How do you get closer together again, when you find that you lose sight of each other, when you feel indifference? Noticing and acknowledging it is the first step. Naming this to your partner is the next step. How does the other person experience this? What are her or his thoughts but also expectations? Exchange this and talk about it, it makes for more openness and less tension.

Talk about your desires and the dialogues in your head. Tell what they do to you and give the other person space to indicate what it does to them. Being aware together of what is going less well can be a tipping point.

Back to the hustle and bustle of everyday life for a moment. No matter how hectic your days are, making time to reflect together can bring you and your partner closer together one step at a time. Engage in dialogue and proceed from there. All those bits of real attention can give your relationship depth again. Depth that was hidden for a while but so, for both of them to feel again.

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