How rules give the open relationship a chance

What a lot of reaction came after BN’er Steven Brunswijk openly displayed his open relationship this summer. It shows attention to different forms of relationships. Forms that work just fine for some people. The rules or conditions within the open relationship play an important role.

It seems so easy to judge the open relationship. Bad or adventurous, winner and loser, “sinful” diametrically opposed to faithful. But it is not that simple. Increasingly, we see that monogamy does not work for everyone. Anyway, every couple has different ground rules within the relationship and there are multiple ways to fill out your relationship. And that is wonderful! However, it is within the open relationship to think carefully and reflect each time on how partners experience it. You can crystallize this together, or with a couples therapist.

What are the conditions?

The open relationship: making rules or freewheeling? Actually, everything revolves around the presence of secure connection in the relationship. And also how you yourself are put together as partners. Consider, for example, the influence of experiences from your early childhood. In addition, in the open relationship, it is essential that partners unconditionally put the primary relationship first.

This manifests itself, for example, in continuing to talk to each other, showing what you find difficult or okay, listening to each other, being patient, comforting, and always being there for each other. Quite a list, but they are important conditions on the route to an open relationship. Actually, you can sum them up in one term, which is “secure connection.

Being able to count on each other, and knowing that

So an open relationship has a chance of success if you really know you can build on each other. Without this balance, freedom becomes the greatest insecurity within a relationship. So maybe it’s a little more complex than you thought beforehand. A challenge it certainly is, nor is it for every couple. We previously wrote about the open relationship. For that, read on here. In the Media Forum on NPO Radio 1, it was also a topic of discussion.

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