Love forever? Why exactly we are getting married less

In early November, CBS again came out with interesting figures on love, couples and fidelity. How are they – we – doing in the Netherlands? We read on the NIS site that the number of marriages lasting 50 or 60 years is growing. People are getting older, making long-term marriages more common. In addition, it is less common for older couples to divorce.

More gold and diamond couples but also more young people no longer getting married, extremes they are. In 1970, some 123,000 couples married – it was a favorable time for a house, tree and beast – now an average of 65,000 couples marry each year (you can see the figures on the NOS website). All in all, we marry much less now than we did then.

Because women no longer routinely lean on a man’s income and can be independent. Furthermore, there is less “marriage pressure” from religions or the church and the taboo on divorce has disappeared we read on the NOS site.

Relationships and high expectations

But high expectations of a relationship also play a role in the declining number of lasting relationships. The expectations toward a partner are much higher than before. We also see this trend in practice. We seek security with a partner but also the ultimate excitement. We seem to get bored faster, and with dating apps at hand, we can look for an even better version in no time.

Relationship Therapy

In couples therapy, we also look at the other side. Discuss what it takes to grow a relationship. And that a relationship grows through attention and investment. We know from experience that it is actually valuable to explore pain points. This will make your relationship stronger.
On the TV program Summer Guest, therapist Esther Perel explained that over the years we actually go through multiple relationships with the same partner. The relationship can constantly renew itself. Beautifully described by Esther, a relationship is not static but dynamic. Off to an anniversary party?

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