Nonverbal communication: what we don’t say to each other

Many couples report that communication in their relationship goes wrong. In this article, we outline the scenarios. You both communicate, but what happens in that pattern?

Not all communication is through voice and speech. We also communicate nonverbally. Our bodies reflect how we feel. Verbal and nonverbal communication, they both have a message. When we laugh or joke together in company, we radiate: “we have it good together. But if there are tensions, we look away more often. We ignore each other or turn our bodies away from each other. These, too, are signals.

Nonverbal communication reflects the inside

For example, when the balance between verbal and nonverbal is not right, you say one thing but emit another. We are sensitive to that. Something is happening that we do not understand and find duplicitous. The tone and attitude do not match what is being said.

When one of the two is angry, it affects the relationship. Some people are so afraid of this that they prefer not to name anything. But if one of the two is afraid of losing the relationship, the result may be that partners communicate less. The other partner then feels, “something is not right here.

Letting differences exist

Or we form our own truth in conflict. You want your partner to accept your truth. In addition, we sometimes feel the pressure to be the same. There are differences between partners and we want to resolve them.

May they coexist? Can we tolerate not being the same? That there are two stories and truths at play?

Actually, all communication is through ground rules. They give you insight into how communication works and how it doesn’t. Are you curious about how our relationship therapists can guide you through this? Please feel free to get in touch.

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