Why are there more and more girths?

The number of singles continues to grow, also stated on the
website of the CBS
. Where did that trend come from? In an interview with a student at CREA Amsterdam, Joey Steur talks about being single and its causes on an individual level and on a larger scale.

Increasingly, we see singles in practice. Because we can also work individually with questions you may have as a single person; questions of help in relation to yourself and your ex-partner. What makes relationships so difficult for you? And what is the influence of your family of origin? Answering these questions is mostly about your relationship to yourself. Moreover, there is often fear of bonding or losing. That makes substantial contact difficult or makes you feel alone.

Why are there so many singles?

Getting into a relationship today is quite complicated. There are countless dating apps but real contact is often missing from them. For example, in an app like Tinder, you see only short, small snippets of people all the time, and the dates are often one-offs. Because hey, there’s always a cuter version of your date out there.

Furthermore, a relationship should not be awkward or complicated. Above all, it should be fun and we prefer not to deal with the difficult feelings. But is that also life? Joey indicates that connection can only happen when the relationship is also about the difficult things and vulnerability. Only then can there be depth.

When being single becomes a problem

If you are happy with how things are now, then there is nothing wrong. If being single makes you persistently gloomy and you lose touch with yourself, a problem can arise. When you can’t manage to work it out on your own, you may need
individual counseling
can help you.

Concluding the video, Joey explains how to achieve new connection. When you are comfortable with yourself, you shine and are open to something new. And the unpleasant feeling, that’s also just allowed to be there. Find the balance!

Practice Love specializes in concrete & effective couples therapy from the perspective of systems therapy.

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