Laden...
Laden...
Our method
The same argument, again and again. One of you gets sharp, the other shuts down. And both of you are left feeling you do not matter. EFT is the form of couples therapy that works on exactly that: not on the topic of the argument, but on the cycle underneath. Evidence-based, and at Praktijk de Liefde combined with systemic therapy. At 9 locations and online, in Dutch and English, with no waiting list.
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EFT stands for Emotionally Focused Therapy. The method was developed in the 1980s by the Canadian psychologists Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg and is based on attachment theory: people are not made to be alone. In the safe presence of someone who loves you, you can handle more. When that safety disappears, we protest, attack or withdraw.
In EFT the emotions of both partners are at the centre. Not the anger on the surface, but what lies beneath it: the fear of not mattering, the sadness about distance, the longing to be seen. When you can show that to each other and the other responds in a new way, the bond between you changes. That is the moment couples say: we have never talked to each other like this before.
EFT is one of the best researched forms of couples therapy. Research shows that 70 to 75 percent of couples who work with EFT experience a significant improvement, and that this improvement holds.
Almost every couple that gets stuck is caught in a cycle. One feels distance and goes after the other: asking, blaming, pushing. The other feels the pressure and shuts down: silence, walking away, picking up the phone. To the first, that shutting down feels like proof the other does not care, so they push even harder. And round you go. Not because you do not love each other, but precisely because it matters so much.
In EFT you learn to recognise that cycle as the common enemy. Not me against you, but us against the pattern. That alone takes the pressure off.
You learn to see the steps you keep taking and what each of you feels while taking them. The argument gets a name and becomes something you share.
Each of you shows what lies beneath the anger or the silence. The other learns to respond with closeness instead of defence.
Old problems are discussed again from the new bond. You learn how to keep the connection alive at home, without a therapist.
We combine EFT with systemic therapy. EFT restores the connection between the two of you; systemic therapy shows where your patterns come from: the family you grew up in, the roles you learned there and the people who influence your relationship today. That way you understand not only what is happening, but also why it hits the two of you so hard.
Our therapists are highly trained, specialised in relationship, family and systemic therapy and members of professional associations such as NVRG, EFT Netherlands and VVS. They work from a shared vision: head, heart and body together.
Insight into the cycle and into the patterns you bring from home.
Restoring the emotional bond: reaching each other again at the moment it matters.
Noticing what happens in your body when things get tense, and finding calm there.
We start with a 60-minute intake in which you tell your story and notice whether there is a click. After that, 4 to 8 sessions are enough for most couples to achieve a lasting improvement. We evaluate every 4 sessions. Sessions are possible during the day and in the evening, on location or online.
For couples who keep having the same argument, who have grown apart, who want to rebuild trust after an affair, or who love each other but can no longer reach each other. EFT works best when both of you are willing to take part. If your partner does not want to come, you can start on your own through individual therapy.
All our therapists work with EFT and systemic therapy. Choose the location that suits you best, or work online from home.
Take the free relationship check — 10 questions, 5 minutes.
Start the test →Book an intake with one of our therapists. No waiting list, no referral needed.